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  CONTENTS

  Epigraph

  SMALLTIME

  TIME AND TROUBLE

  PATIENT HISTORY

  IN STORAGE

  THE INTERVENTION SO FAR

  ARE YOU A FRIEND

  CAUGHT IN THE CHEMISTRY

  BEFORE THE RUST

  RELEASE PARTY

  WE’VE LOST OUR PLACE

  REMOVAL SERVICES

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  For Anastasia

  SMALLTIME

  It’s only an hour’s train ride to Wicklow from downtown Chicago, but Bello tries to sleep anyway. If he doesn’t get enough rest his hands shake, his conviction frays. But every time he closes his eyes it feels as if he’s slipping underwater, cold and claustrophobic, a preamble to the chronic nightmare.

  Bello reaches into his shirt pocket and takes the gold ring out, slips it into his mouth. He tongues it backward and pinches it gently between his molars. Warmly metallic, it pacifies.

  A woman in a puffy coat in the seat beside him holds forth to the nun across the aisle. “Well, I happen to think,” she says, “that original sin starts us off at a real disadvantage.” She motions flippantly to the old prison sliding by outside the train’s windows. “Speaking of sinners.”

  The decommissioned penitentiary looks like old prisons do, sober and monumental, a fortress of soap-colored limestone and barbed wire. Fingers of dying ivy keep wind-shivered clutch on the walls. The rust-stained sills below the barred windows stand out like swollen lower lips. Above the overgrowth and broken fencing a skeletal watchtower leans into the wind.

  The woman in the puffy coat turns to Bello. “You know,” she says, winking as she sips a blue sports drink from a plastic bottle, “the Soyfield Strangler did time there.”

  Bello has been advised by Virgil not to talk to anyone. He’s been warned to be as unmemorable as possible. It’ll keep his alibi secure. Virgil and the guys will tell the cops he was with them all day—“playing cards,” they’ll say—but if people start claiming otherwise, then the guys aren’t going to let Bello take them down too.

  “When they built the new prison up the road in Triton,” the woman continues, “the Strangler went with it, along with all the jobs.” She’s younger than Bello, middle-aged yet somehow still in school. She’s been talking constantly since they left Union Station, announcing again and again that she’s a graduate student at Middle-Western. She’s writing a thesis about the beetle that’s killing all the oak trees. “Someone should’ve intervened by now,” she says, her saccharine blue breath washing over Bello’s face. “But now, of course, it’s too late. Now it’s just a tragedy.”

  I’ll show you what tragedy is, Bello wants to tell her. But instead he waits for her attention to drift away again so he can spit out the ring and stow it safely back in his chest pocket. Then he puts his glasses on and says, “This is my stop.” He gets off the train and walks north. The air, too cold for October, puts an ache in his chest. His hands feel bloodless. While he waits for a crosswalk signal to change, a woman comes up alongside him. It’s the same woman from the train, except she has a purple jacket now.

  She smiles, then stops smiling, reaches for him. “Are you all right, sir?”

  Bello pulls away as she touches his shoulder. “Are you following me?”

  “Why would I be following you?” she asks.

  He can’t smell her sports drink breath anymore, and her hair is a different color in the flat light. The walk signal illuminates. Bello stands in place as she turns and moves ahead of him. He walks behind her for a block before she takes a seat at a money-colored bus stop bench advertising a riverboat casino up the road in Triton.

  Bello turns down an alley to get off the street, glancing over his shoulder as he rounds the corner. Alone again. The alley dumps him into an empty gravel lot with a view of the train line. He steps over a downed section of fence and walks along the tracks, eventually reaching the used car dealership owned by Virgil’s half brother. It’s called Woody’s Hot Rods, but all the cars in the lot are used compacts with thin paint jobs and low tires. Grass grows through the pavement. The cinder-block building sports a pealing mural of a cartoon bird in a pin-striped suit. The sagging chain-link wants to guard something else.

  “I’m looking for Durwood,” Bello tells the receptionist inside.

  The woman’s desk is a car hood set on legs. The molded warp of the metal holds everything—her computer and stapler and pen cups—at tenuous angles. She points to the office behind her and says, “He’s waiting for you.”

  “Come in,” says a man in a padded swivel chair, not kindly. “Close the door.” Durwood doesn’t look anything like Virgil. This man wears a red tan on his face and neck. He sits behind a messy glass desk twirling a pencil with long delicate fingers. “You’re older than I expected.”

  “I was told this is the place to get a cheap throwaway car,” Bello tells him.

  “Actually, that’s not what this place is.” The pencil flips up onto the desk. Durwood smothers it, brings it back into his hand, and resumes twirling. “It’s a car lot. I sell cars here. I report my earnings. I keep my permits up to date. Once in a while, yes, I get a dope from the city who shows up because some wiseguy can’t keep his mouth shut.” He flicks the pencil back onto the desk, but doesn’t retrieve it. “What I gotta know is, whatever you’re into, whatever you’re gonna do after you leave here, that it isn’t gonna find its way back to me.”

  “I have cash.” Bello pulls a wad of hundred-dollar bills from his coat pocket, the last of his worth, not counting the little extra in his wallet.

  Durwood takes the money, puts each bill up to the light. “Okay,” he finally says. “Fine. Go wait by the garage.”

  Around the side of the building, Bello finds the big segmented door. He sits on a stack of tires. He feels his age today, a peeling sensation on his heart. The big door grinds up into the garage ceiling to reveal a gray Ford compact, a mechanic in oily coveralls waiting beside it with his hand out.

  “I already gave the money to Durwood,” Bello tells him.

  “I’m shaking your hand here.” The mechanic’s eyes are too close together, like two tarnished dimes pressed into the center of his face. “It’s awful what happened to that lady. Was she your daughter or something?”

  Bello shakes his head. “But I was like family.”

  “Well, I’m glad someone’s doing something about it, if the family isn’t.”

  Durwood bursts in. “Don’t say anything to this guy, you dumbshit. Not a word.”

  “I was just shaking his hand, boss.” The mechanic winks at Bello. In a sly new voice, he adds, “It is in the glove box.”

  “Didn’t I say ‘shut up’ already?” Durwood shoves the mechanic aside and turns to Bello. “Keys are in the ignition, old man. Now get the fuck out of here.”

  //

  The gray compact has no radio or heat controls, no dampers on the vents. The speakers are missing, the center console, the seat belts. There’s an open cavity in the center of the steering wheel where an air bag once stowed. When he turns the key, the engine rattles to life and the cabin fills with the smell of burning motor oil.

  Down the road, he pulls over in front of a locked gate, a s
huttered mill cowering beyond. In the glove box, wrapped in a piece of newsprint, he finds the pistol. At first glance he mistakes it for a toy, it’s so small. When he closes his hand around it, the hunk of metal practically disappears. He removes one bullet, tiny, like a filling from a child’s mouth. An ancient memory rises, of the time he put his finger into the girl’s mouth, her loose tooth tipping back, a thread of blood sliding into the wet canal behind her lip.

  The gun is a sensible size after all, he decides, pointing it at the passenger seat, imagining what he might say before pulling the trigger. Vengeance, he’ll say, is served.

  He lays the pistol on the rumpled paper in his lap. Front-page news in Wicklow, Illinois, is a corn maze in the shape of the grim reaper. He wonders if the newspapers will understand that his need for vengeance was set forth by an original sin.

  Bello tries to drive unmemorably, but people in Wicklow seem to have nothing better to do than stand around taking note of him, so he gets on the highway. After a few miles of corn and soy, a glittering billboard for the riverboat casino welcomes him to Triton. He has a while before it will be time, so he goes down to the riverfront where derelict shipping piers give way to a stretch of park space. The river is the color of green paint gone foul in the can. Across the way, the riverboat casino sits in dock, a massive pink hotel looming on the shore beyond.

  Bello sits down on a bench beside a man with a duffel bag at his feet, a chain saw peeking out the open zipper. He wears a red sweatshirt with a logo of flames embroidered on the chest. Not far off, a midlife tree lies in pieces beside a hollow stump surrounded by an apron of sawdust.

  “Nice day,” the stranger remarks, a broad grin slicing through his face. “Tomorrow it’s going to storm, but today? Today is nice.”

  Bello prefers not to talk to people anyway, but on this day his silence feels like a kind of rust forming on the brain. He tries to remember who he’s spoken to today. There was a woman on the train, and again on the sidewalk. As he digs for their faces, though, he decides they couldn’t have been the same person. And now this man is different too. Bello takes his glasses off and sets them in his lap. The world around falls into a lenient blur. “It is a nice day,” he finally agrees. “I’ve been waiting for this day for years.”

  The stranger’s smile turns dubious. “That’s a bit dramatic.”

  Be unmemorable, Bello thinks, turning away. Without his glasses on, the nearest piece of the tree’s hollowed trunk looks like a giant’s ring. “These beetles,” he says. “Someone should’ve intervened by now.”

  “Agrilus quercata,” the stranger says with an embellished accent.

  “Pardon?”

  “Oak slayers.” The man coughs into his fist and spits on the ground in front of them. “They’re here.”

  Bello knows he should stop talking, but his blood is finally warming and his tongue feels loose. Somewhere a crane keeps dropping its freight and the concussions feel like a second heart beating to life inside his chest. “There was an infested tree in our yard too,” he says. “Or, it wasn’t my yard really, but it was home.” He stops, letting the silence take over again. In the distance, a barge the size of a football field churns upriver. “I was a handyman for a family in the suburbs. I lived in an apartment over their garage.” Bello brings his hand over his shirt pocket, the gold ring thumping through the fabric. “I didn’t have a family of my own, you see, so I was part of theirs.” He pauses to work a knot from his throat. “But now I’ve lost everything.”

  The stranger nods as if this story is somehow familiar. He crosses his arms over his chest and the embroidery of flames flattens out into a picture of a tree holding bright autumn leaves. Below it are the words Long-Lived Removal Services.

  “In life,” the stranger says, “we don’t usually get to see the trouble coming.”

  Bello isn’t sure what to make of this statement. He wants to say, That’s a bit dramatic, in the stranger’s own mordant tone, but this day has room for only one confrontation. Instead he says, “Can I ask, do you know who the Soyfield Strangler is?”

  The man’s face turns suddenly restless with anticipation, his colorless eyes trembling, as if he’s waiting for the punch line to a joke. He’s delicately built, Bello realizes, beneath the thick lumberjack clothes, gaunt in the face, flesh drawn tight over the tendons in his neck.

  “I’m asking,” Bello adds. “I don’t know myself.”

  The stranger’s face washes over with something like disappointment, or relief, like a waking person throwing off the misgiven facts of a dream. He coughs into his fist again. “Sounds like a professional wrestler,” he says, the smile slithering back into his jaw. He extends his hand and Bello takes it. The man’s grasp is dry and stiff, a bundle of hard slender fingers. But when their handshake ends the stranger doesn’t get up. His pale gaze moves to the dismembered tree on the ground, then to a copse of other oaks with red Xs on their trunks, then up into the sky. Bello looks up too. Large dark birds wheel a hundred feet above them against a backdrop of dim brown clouds, a faint smell of tar on the air, freight pounding the earth.

  Bello stands up. His eyeglasses fall to the cement and shatter.

  //

  On the drive to the prison, the nerves come on. A tingling in his arms and legs as though termites have gotten into the marrow. He stops at a quick mart for aspirin because he’s heard it can prevent a heart attack. He opens the packet and swallows the pills before the kid at the register can even ring it up.

  “Are you okay, mister?”

  In the car again, his shaking hand pulls out the slip of paper with the killer’s name on it. The pills lend no calm. He swallows a long drink of air and resolves that this is supposed to be the end, that it is finally time to surrender to this gathered fate. He looks at his hands, reads their palm-creased history, remembers again the feel of Sonia’s loose tooth against the tip of his finger.

  //

  The town of Triton falls away in the rearview and Bello finds himself cruising through a wide collar of empty acreage—all prairie scrub and meandering ditch work. Outer fences guard inner fences. P.A. announcements on the wind. Bello’s hands are so cold they can barely keep the wheel. He’s afraid of losing control of the car, hurting the wrong person. A sign announces, GRASSLAND STATE PRISON.

  A prison guard comes out of the hut at the main gate. “Can I help you?”

  “I’m here for Hartley Nolan.”

  “Is he a prisoner?”

  “He’s being released today.”

  “I’m afraid there aren’t any releases scheduled,” the guard says.

  “He got eight years,” Bello says.

  The guard leans back into his hut for a clipboard. “Nothing today.”

  “He gets out in four,” Bello insists. “Today is four exactly.”

  “What’s the name? Nolan?” The guard flips through more pages. “Hartley Nolan. Yep. I see the problem He’s getting out tomorrow.”

  //

  As Bello drives away, he can feel the aspirin eating through the wall of his gut, the stomach acids leaking out and welling up around his heart. This, he understands, is the sour creature he’s become.

  He parks in an empty lot near the river and closes his eyes, but sleep doesn’t approach. Cold air blows through the door seams and somewhere a garbage truck wrestles endlessly with a dumpster. He draws the ring from his pocket and puts it in his mouth again, holds it carefully between his fillings. Metal against metal. He thinks back to the cozy little apartment over the garage. His heartbeat slows and he locates a full breath. The panic recedes. The familiar dread runs in.

  Long before becoming a handyman, Bello spent years skimming product off shipping barges on the Calumet River south of Chicago, but he was always too careful about getting caught to make a real living at it. He didn’t want his name in the paper. He was in love with a college girl back then, or a girl bound for college, still living under her father’s roof. Virgil and the guys know all about it, his days as a cr
ook. They call him Smalltime.

  Before that, he was a harbor welder, which is how he still imagines himself, a strong young tradesman with a turned-up mask and a blowtorch in hand. Back then, all the ships in the harbor had women’s names and they needed him. He made their anchors right, fixed their propellers. When he thinks back on it, there was a girl then too, a brat with a loose wet mouth and knee-high work boots the harbormaster brought in so they could all have turns behind the boathouse. Bello remembers hating her for some reason, for not disappearing after they’d used her up. Or perhaps it was that she had hated him, for his cold hands or his small pecker, or just for being last in line.

  Once, he dove into Lake Michigan in January to repair the hull of a leaking freighter. He had to break up the ice just to get into the water, and this girl had been the one tasked with stirring the hole with an iron gaff while he worked below. It is the coldest thing he can imagine, those minutes underneath. Often, he dreams of this and the break in the surface has frozen over and the brat stands over him smiling down. He swims in circles batting the ice with his hands. The oxygen keeps running into his lungs, his blood turning to slush. It is the nightmare he goes to bed praying not to have.

  //

  At the pink hotel near the river, he gets himself a room. After putting down the deposit, he has forty dollars left to his name. The riverboat casino on the other side of the parking lot is free to enter, but they check IDs. Bello tries not to show his—be unmemorable, he thinks—but the rules are the rules. When he’s through the gate, he takes out the money and throws his wallet in the trash.

  The casino is exactly like others he’s been to except this one is long and narrow and once in a while he swears he can feel the ship pitch in its moorings. Slot machines line the outer walls, and the open center offers blackjack, keno, craps, roulette. The din is monstrous, though in the middle of the afternoon there aren’t very many people. Most of the tables are being kept empty, and the blackjack players have all been herded to the far end, near the bar.